Most change is slow.
Bit by bit, people can adjust to gradual changes.
Growing up, going to school, learning a skill, developing relationships: these things all take time.
Can you pick out the days had the most impact on your life?
Births and deaths are the obvious, big life-changers.
Even so, we usually adapt to these gains and losses gradually. You have months to prepare for a baby, and often the warning of illness to prepare you for the loss of a loved one.
So even though they have a serious impact on our lives, we are as prepared as we can be.
An unexpected death is so traumatic because it hits you all at once.
There are no weeks or months to prepare, or the final words with your family member.
The same principle applies to victims of serious accidents crashes.*
It would be one thing if you knew you were going to undergo a serious surgery, and rehab, and recovery. You could prepare yourself, and prepare others in your life.
That’s very different than the shock and trauma of the unexpected impact.
Compassion for these unexpected changes is part of the reason I work to help injured people and their families every day.
Think about the days that had the most impact on your life.
Be empathetic to others—they might be having one of those days.
– Kevin Coluccio
For more than 30 years, lawyer Kevin Coluccio has been helping the families of fatally injured people in Washington State. You can reach him here.
* Many fatal “car accidents” aren’t accidents at all, but predictable, preventable crashes. We are trying to change the way we think, and speak, about traffic violence: We Say Crash, Not Accident
